Making Lemonade

Book MeMe

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 13:09:51 GMT

Sure, a meme may actually be more interesting than my life right now. Hmmm.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (X)
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (X)
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte ( )
4. Harry Potter series (X)
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible - (X)
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (X)
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell (X)
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman ( )
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens ( )
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott (X)
12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy ( )
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller ( )
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare (Um, maybe within my lifetime...)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (X)
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (X)
19. The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger ( )
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell (X)
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald (X)
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (X)
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh (X - what a long book...)
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (X)
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame (X)
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy ( )
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis (X)
34. Emma - Jane Austen (X)
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (X)
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini ( )
38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres (X)
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden (X)
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (X)
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell (X)
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown (X)
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins ( )
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (X)
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood ( )
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding ( )
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan (X)
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel ( )
52. Dune - Frank Herbert ( )
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen (X)
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night - Mark Haddon ( )
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold (X)
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (X)
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding (X)
69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville (X)
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens ( )
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker ( )
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (X)
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Inferno – Dante
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray (X)
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (X)
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro (X)
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte’s Web - EB White (x)
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle ( )
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton (X)
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (X)
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks ( )
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams ( )
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas (X)
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare (X)
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (X)
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Hmm, not bad for a girl almost entirely occupied with legal textbooks. There are definitely some I have to read though.

I'm Alive Each Time I'm With You

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 10:03:33 GMT

Well, here's my semi-annual post! :P Been having a very varied semester and there's a lot to say in one post... I've spent so much time on buses just reading and thinking. It's a bad habit though, 'cause it upsets my balance sometimes. I get a little lost into my thoughts.

It's been good though, just sifting through all my baggage and learning how to throw off what's hindering me. Learning to do things I really love rather than things I think I have to do... It's wonderful.

As a result I'm into my sixth week of violin and learning so much so quickly! My teacher's a Russian who started her degree at 14. Yep, she's that good. So, she's a perfectionist, which suits me just fine! It's been great and she's really encouraging. Turns out I have perfect pitch! Wicked. :)I'm learning to play Amazing Grace at the moment. It's going to be awesome...

Also, I got promoted to State Manager for Schools 4 Schools, so I'll be running the operation for the whole state! (Like a province...) So excited. Going to be a lot of work, but so worth it. I get to build something myself that's going to be making an impact on children in SA! It's awesome! :)

Also, been asked to be the Vice President for Education for teh new United Nations Society at Adelaide University (AUUNS! So, it's going to be one heck of a busy year. But hey? What am I if not a workaholic?

Also, was fantastic to have my parents over for my 21st. Can't believe I'm that old... The party was wicked! (I missed you all insanely at that moment.) Got a crapload of wonderful gifts, including a ruby and diamond ring from my parents. (I couldn't believe my eyes...)

So, yeah. Life's good and I'm really looking forward to looking outside of myself for a while. It's so energising and hopeful. When I can be a blessing, I'm blessed. It's a funny cycle...

Back Again from the Land of the Insanely Busy People

Wed, 13 May 2009 02:40:45 GMT

I'm sitting in the Law Library hogging a computer someone might need. I've got a lot of other things I should be doing. So, naturally, I'm here to write about the slight inanity of my life. :) I've actually been avoiding livejournal for a while (not to avoid my friend updates - "Friends are so overrated!" (sarcasm)) Rather to avoid various television addictions and actually partake in some real life. Reality is cool too.

So, I return in a much more healthy place and am now actually able to hold a normal conversation without exploding "DID YOU WATCH THE LAST EPSIODE OF HOUSE?!" in the middle of it. Quite constructive for friendship building I find. :) I can also now actually miss an epsiode of Lie to Me and not feel like my life is incomplete. This is a bonus I'm sure we'd all agree. (Well, maybe not all of us...)

Anyway, in the last two months I have managed to get two jobs (one's a volunteer position with the Oaktree Foundation - www.theoaktree.org), be voted Best Overall Delegate for the South Australian Model UN (including an all expenses paid trip to Brisbane for the Asia Pacific Model UN)and achieve adequate grades at university. I've done nothing to deserve any of it and I'm once again convinced of God's unbelievable provision, it's crazy. Life is now extremely busy and a little stressful, but I feel like life is finally taking off for me. I have direction, I have money, I have hope and I have Jesus. It's looking pretty good. :)

So, yeah, I'm back again and totally prone to relapses *does Huddy dance for joy* (that was a House reference for those of you who don't know... or care!) Of course, most of my icons are TV related too... well, I'm getting there ok! I had six weeks 30 Rock free!

Oh yeah, saw Phantom again last Tuesday. It was AWESOME. As usual. The SA production was probably better overall thanks to the more intimate theatre setting (the Adelaide one was in a Entertainment Centre more like the Standard Bank Arena) and better female leads, but the Phantom (Anthony Warlow) was the best I've ever heard. He was the perfect mix of mysterious, pure tenor and gruff (in a disturbingly sexy way). He was brilliant. I was also on Taiwanese TV for an interview! It was rather hilarious because we were randomly pulled over and asked questions about the show. All this was prefaced by 'Say hello to Taiwan!' *confused look*

My favourite question? Which character is your favourite? Christine? Raoul? *horrified* RAOUL? No... They were a little surprised when I said Carlotta. Most people are though. It's a toss up between her and the Phantom. I'm strange like that...

EDIT >> I completely forgot to add that I went to see Kate Miller-Heidke, which goes to show how scattered my brain is right now. IT WAS AWESOME! She was fantastic live, even better than in recording sometimes and her band is the funniest. (Leading into 'God's Gift to Women': 'This song is about creepy old men.' *bassist, an older guy named Ben who pwns at the bass, raises hands in appreciative thanks* 'Yes Ben, it's about you...') Brilliant. Also, her back-up singer/acoustic guitarist changed strings in the middle of the song in time for her solo. It was pure awesome. So, yeah, all in all awesome was abounding. Topped, I might add, by the signing of my CD at the end. She's even cooler in person with her awesome headband, quirky dresses and AWESOME striped connies. KMH, you're a legend!

Anyway, I have used up my quota of guilt-free procrastination and must now go and do some work.

Cheerio!

Emergency Update

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 08:15:36 GMT

Ok, so I'm horrible at keeping a journal. It's official. Although I think you all knew that anyway... Also, this laptop has a funky 'l' key, so if I miss in l's along the way, know why! (Like "On the pus side!") Ew.

So, I'm back in South Africa and loving it! I've got to see almost everyone I wanted to or will be seeing them in the new year. Can't wait to hang out with some of my nerds again! There has been a void deep in my soul where 30 Seconds used to be...

Seeing Et again wasn't as awkward as I thought it'd be. He was very calm and cool about it... Also I look a little different than when I left and I'm 99.9% sure he's still in love with me, which is both hard to manage and fantastic for my self-esteem. (As Liz would say, "Eat it up Cleveland...") I really don't want to hurt him anymore though... so, we'll have to see how my being here progresses. Also, he tried to kiss me when he left. Out of sheer habit I'm sure... Ok, so maybe a little awkward. *headdesk*

I am also missing home terribly. Who knew? It seems somewhat bizarre! Luckily seperation from Crush Guy has resulted in my feeling more at ease about the situation there. I can finally relax and just build a friendship with him. Hooray! No more feeing like a 14 year old with hormonal issues and smiling "Back off!" at people. I hate hormones...

Well, tomorrow I'm off to Sun City, which should be fun. (I've actually got a tan from being in Ballito which is strange for me.) Anyway, Happy New Year everyone! Hope the holidays are good to you all. Can't wait to see some of you... :)

These Days Slip Passed Like Trains at Midnight

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 14:00:35 GMT

Wow, I haven't updated properly in a VERY long time. The again, there would be something seriously wrong with the world if I stopped being the most inconsistent LJ poster of all time. It would upset the natural balance of things. So yes, Australia has not devoured me with Vegimite. Contrary to popular opinion.

Anyway, my birthday was super-awesome. (In the least Mean Girls way possible.) Had a great party and felt very special with all the messages and thoughts coming my way from unexpected sources... God's really blessed me with awesome friends and a family that's amazingly comforting for my first birthday away from my parents etc. It's been generally weird though. Realised that I'll be thirty in ten years. I freaked out and bought a Ferrari. Well, I bought a book... which is practically a Ferrari if you calculate it according to the "broke student":"mid-life crisis" ratio. So yeah. It's weird getting older and finally starting to feel slightly offended when people say, "Twenty? Wow, I thought you were MUCH older than that." O_o (I paused by an 'anti-ageing' eye cream shortly after.) That aside, I finally feel like an adult, even though I've moved out of the hosue. Or, in fact, the 'house' if you English puritans prefer. My friend even offered to excommunicate me because we're no longer in the same age bracket, which inspired an amazing amount of confidence I must admit.

In other news, I'm regretting studying Asian history and wish I'd taken a side course in something interesting like "Cranial Relations: A Unique Insight into the World of Head/Wall Interaction". Or something. As much as I love China, there are only so many times you can be told that Asians invented everything and that Europeans suck in general. We get it.

Other courses of mine are more interesting, however, so uni is not a completely suicidal experience. Development Studies has really inspired my need to change something about the world and has inspired the liberal protestor side of me that seemed to be missing when I most needed it in high school. I'm quite agrivated by Corporate Social Responsible and my tute was like a 50 minute rendition of "The Constant Gardener", which was amazing. (This was without Rachel Weisz, unfortunately. Much like 'The Mummy 3' which promises to be an epic fail without her. Well, it was probably going to be an epic fail anyway, which is probably why she opted out. Smart woman.)

Talking about films, I went and saw 'Mamma Mia'. Much heart. I've always had a shallow appreciation for ABBA that was never truly realised until now. It took Meryl Streep's amazingly emotional rendition of 'The Winner Takes it All' to convert me to toe-tapping and word-knowing. (That and Pierce Brosnan's fantastically awful and yet stunningly endearing version of 'SOS'. The tune isn't really THAT important... is it?) I will definitely be first in line to by tickets to any film versions of 'Chess'. Then again, that has been the case since I first heard the dulcet tones of Anatoly in the epilogue. In the words of Leah (my eloquent cousin): "Lick his face!" (As paraphrased by her in reference to 30 Rock's Tracy Jordan.) The addiction permeates to new levels. It certainly took a leap at viewing the promotional slot for Season 3... My little Jack/Liz heart nearly exploded at the sight of such closeness and face-touching. Tina Fey's probably just messing with my head and laughing at all the expressions of "Squee! OMG, she TOTALLY touched his face! That's got to be a signal in Chelsea! They must be getting together for lots of love and babies! OBVIOUSLY that's what's going to happen... I mean, she touched his face, right? Am I right?" Fangirling eats away at my brain. But I will definitely be watching the premier to discover WHAT'S GOING ON. Was also very excited that they won the Emmy again. Four wins for the night, 3 for Ms Fey, she's loving her life right now I'm sure. Her acceptance speech was a win. So was this photo.. Oh Alec Baldwin, you and everybody in comedy right now...

Ok, moving swiftly along. I'm house-sitting for some friends at the moment and it's really awesome to feel like I have my own house. (With someone else's very excited dog. My fantasy house will only have a cat. A normal, non-licking/jumping/gob-covered-fetch-playing cat. Which will be friendlier than Ali's.) It's really nice to have some alone time and the independence to do what my heart desires. Fun. :)

Went to the beach for the first time this Spring. It was awesome, if a little cold. Ok, REALLY cold, but it was very pretty except for the very buff guys playing cricket in the way of my sun. Tut tut. I really like that the sea is now fifteen minutes from my house rather than five hours. It's slightly more convenient.

Well, I've covered just about everything except the book I'm reading. Hmmm... I've just finished "Twilight", which was a pretty easy and relaxing read. It's prose was often pretty bad, but I actually liked it. It was Potteresque in that regard. Also, I was mostly engaged by the end and wish that that part of the story had been more developed... it would have made it a little less twee. Maybe it's just the fact that it's a teenage romance and that's a little unbelievable for me... Possibility. Anyway, if you're looking for a novel that's uncomplicated with a genuine story, I'd recommend it tentatively.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm off to bed to enjoy the fact that I don't have to get up early. :)

Lemon out. (It sounded appropriate, but I'd like to add that I don't actually believe myself to be Liz Lemon. Again, contrary to popular belief.)

I Can See Russia from My House!

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 01:50:01 GMT

This video made me laugh. A lot. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler FTW! (I actually rather like Sarah Palin, but this is hysterical.)

"Can you believe that Hillary?!"
"I cannot!"

WIN!

If I've Abandoned You, I'm Sorry

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 02:23:58 GMT

meme from aurora_87

Use the first letter of your first name to answer each of the following.

They have to be real places, names, things - nothing made up. Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same first initial - which by the way is hard if you already have read their answers! You cannot use your own name for the boy/girl names.

1. What is your name: Lauren (agreed, real hard)

2. A 4 letter word: Love (I'm sorry. It's the first thing I thought of.)

3. A vehicle: Landrover

4. A city: London

5. A boy's name: Lionel

6. Girls name: Lily

7. Alcoholic drink: Lambrusco

8. An occupation: Lawyer

9. Something you wear: Leggings

10. A celebrity: Laura Linney

11. A food: Lasagne

12. Something found in a bathroom: Loreal Shampoo?

13. Reason for being late: Llama

14. Something you shout: Loser! (Not really... again, the first thing...

15. An animal: Lemur

16. Word to describe yourself: Loquacious

I'd Long Since Forgotten the Inconvenience of Stereotypes

Tue, 13 May 2008 06:01:10 GMT

Wow. In amongst the beauty of today I'd really forgotten what morons people can be. I try to avoid ranting about things that irritate me, it mostly just sends me into a kind of pea soup of malcontent and I hate pea soup. It's gross. Of course, there are some things that just need to be said and since I've never wanted to shoot someone so earnestly in my entire life, this is going to be one of those things!

What IS it with stupid men and their OBSESSION with sex?! (Obviously this only applies to STUPID men and not all men, I'm sure there are plenty of you out there with a healthy respect for women and no intention of yelling obscene things from a car window at two thirty on a Tuesday afternoon. Lord forbid you should have something productive to do.) Sure, we could blame the usual suspects: M-TV hip-hop for its objectification of women... Fashion TV for its shameless parade of naked teenage girls... fridge adverts in the '50s... but what about holding men themselves responsible? Or better yet, the entire human race. What is it that has us going, "Hey, it's ok to flash my unmentionables to 500 members of the press!"

Better yet, when did it become ok to yell, "Hey baby, come back and I'll show you how to get some real exercise! I got my hand on my button and..." to passing joggers from your trash-mobile in random parts of suburbia? ARG! Have some respect for other people! Also, someone's got to be giving this guy something to encourage him, so to you lady-encouragement-person, HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT! GRR! I want to stab you in the face with a giant fork!

We have got to get over this casual madness! I'm sorry to say it people, but there's more to life than 'tapping that'. Stop cheapening such a beautiful gift, it's making me crazy... Also, unless you have something important and enriching to yell from you car windows, shut it! The joggers don't want to hear it. So back off and get yourself some class.

Channeling peace and serenity now. See, going jogging IS bad! It encourages uncomfortable situations that may result in my saying some very unflattering things to some people who God loves as much as He loves me. I know the right response is to ignore them and keep running like you're surrounded by bunnies and marshmellows, but my brain just wants to say something. Something not very nice. Stupid fifth-of-a-personality guys... stick to city corners in London! Leave peaceful Adelaidean suburbia alone.

In other news, Kansas drowned a witch. Sorry, Weekend Update just took over my brain for second. Anyway, I have three up and coming assignments and I'm a little scared. I got 60% for my last Law Assignment, so I'm hoping it gets better from here. Looking at Statutory Interpretation, I should have stayed at WITS... First year there was smooth sailing by comparison, like the McCain Campaign. (Ew. Rhyming makes me wince.) Still, my ambition dictates that I work myself to death to get it done right. Yay. Death.

So, now that I've cleared my Mind Grapes I'm going to talk to some food about it and then actually get something done. Maybe I'll draw up a table of work... no, too organised. I'll just stare at a blank page for an hour and feel like I've achieved something. :)

The Alternate to Freedom

Wed, 07 May 2008 05:04:39 GMT

Can anyone say, "China, what the hell?" The answer is probably no, but the new requirements for the olympic games are quite ridiculous. If you ask me, they should be boycotted. How's this, no competitor may wear shirts or flags that constitute a political point of view at the olympics. They're being asked to sign a contract to that effect and the results of breach of contract are considerably worrying. A violation allows the Chinese government and state police to hold the violater for 72 hours without informing the relevant embassy. *blinks* UM.

Furthermore, they can revoke exit visas! Surely an expulsion from the games and the country would be the proper response? Locking up people and refusing to tell their embassy seems oddly shady to me, not to mention the ability to prevent the offenders from leaving the country.

*images of Chinese prisons filled with flag-wearing offenders flash across page* O_o This is my concerned face.

Anyway, that aside, it's been an interesting week. My uncle, who's the headmaster of a Christian school in Adelaide called Tyndale, has made his home open to six extra youths for the next week. Heathdale is a school in Melbourne who come over every two years to compete with the Tyndalians and consequently, they need a place to say. So, on top of myself and my five cousins, we have six extras. Not to mention the visiting guests who want to be a part of the action. it's a little crowded at home and not very quiet. (There goes my politics studying. ::cough:: What a shame. ::cough::

In other news the 30 Rock finale is on tomorrow night and I'll probably only get it on Staurday, but then it'll be over and I'll go back into withdrawal. (Of course, I survived the writer's strike so I'm sure I can survive summer hiatus.) Anyway, I hope it's good and it better resolve some stuff or I'll explode. (Well, maybe not, but I'll definitely be a little miffed.)

If Jack doesn't get his office back, I'm going to be severely put out. Seeing him all down and slightly defeated just doesn't seem right. He's the master of business and must remain so for my mental health. Seriously, it's not funny. His face at the end of 'Succession' when he lost CEO killed me inside and when he said he'd been thinking about quitting I was shocked because Jack doesn't quit. He didn't even quit with Seinfeld Vision! ARG!

Also, interested to know what's happening with the whole Liz pregnancy issue. Intrigue! Ok, so it'll probably be resolved and she'll once again be depressed that she's not having a kid etc. etc. but I really want to know who the prospective father is... Hmmm.

Moving on...

I'm feeling pretty feeble and girly at the moment, I've put on some weight and my face seems to think that spotty is an attractive look. Arg. Damn Australian eating habits that rub off on me! :( I'll get over it though, I just need to change something to make me happy that I'm looking after myself. Otherwise I am content.

Missing everyone back home today, just wish I could sink back into an old routine for the day and then revert back. (Oh for it to be that simple. Soemone should really invent the teleport. Gosh.)

Uneventful Barely Begins to Describe the Monotony

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 05:26:26 GMT

Well,

I thought I'd post for the hell of it, but there's nothing I really have to say. University is going swimmingly (seriously, who thought of that adverb, it sucks... no, I have no idea why I just used it), church is rocking my socks at the moment and my future is looking as bright as a herring on rye.

24 is awesome once more and I roped my cousins into watching an episode and it was downhill from there. They're now addicted and inexplicably hate me for making them wait until 2009 for the new season. What? It was the writers' fault! Not mine...

Talking about writers, it's tres awesome having 30 Rock back and I am strangely shipping Jack and Liz so hard at the moment... Well, I was always a shipper, but squee is on the uphigh (does that count as the opposite of downlow?) Please see icon. *heart*

Otherwise I'm just bored, still looking for a job and minus any close friends for now. :(

Oh yes, church is having a ' T ' Party on Friday and my cousin is convinced I should go as Tina Fey. (Obviously) But when I thought about it, my 'dressing up' would consist of wearing my glasses, doing my hair nicely and throwing on the outfit I usually wear to university. Hmm, exctiting. Oh well, cheap and easy I guess! :P

New from a Land Down Under

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 04:37:20 GMT

The Uni Holiday is finally upon me and I need the rest. It's been a challenging and eventful term and I really need to allow my poor brain to breathe for a second. I still have a politics assignment to do, due in the middle of the break, go figure... Still, it should be fine. I'll get it done a.s.a.p. and get to relaxing.

Went to a church service last night that was dedicated to two and a half hours of just worshipping. God's been doing amazing things in my life and last night I felt a breakthrough in so much that's been impacting me for years. The presence of God was fully on us and sometimes I felt like I could barely breathe. It was amazing. Awesome really, in the true sense of the word. I heard unbelievable testimonies last night too. There is a church in Sydney that had manna falling during their meeting. I'm talking actual bread falling from the ceiling and in another church there, the hall was covered in gold dust after worship. I didn't even know what to say, what an amazing God.

On another note, Et called me yesterday. He thought he was making a mistake and, much to my own surprise, I ended it myself. I just felt that it was the right thing to do and God gave me such peace about it. So yeah, we're still great friends, but it's actually over. It's in God's hands and, if it is meant to happen. It will.

When the Walls Come Crashing Down, There's Nothing I Can Say but "Your Will, Not Mine."

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 02:35:38 GMT

Et just broke up with me. I completely understand why, but the pain is profound. All my insecurities just came crashing back and I find myself in a place that I never thought I'd see again. Maybe this time I'll put my hope in God... Seems like that's what I should have done in the first place.

I want to be angry and hurt, but I can't. I did this and I have to live with the repercussions of my move. What am I chasing? Is my career so important? Yes, I know it is... but I feel like I've sacrificed something with true significance. I don't understand why both decisions felt right. I loved him so much and I knew that God wanted me in Australia, so why this?

I guess I'll know one day. I'll leave it in God's hands, he knows what he's doing... do I?

I'm blabbering now I guess... I'm so confused and sad. All the doubts I had are no comfort at all... The reality is far more crushing than the possibility of something else. I feel sick, I need to lie down.

I Didn't Die!

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 03:11:03 GMT

While university is turning out to be infinitely harder than it was last year, I'm finally feeling a little more relaxed about my life and where I'm heading. Sure, I've got three million chapters to read for tomorrow and my Politics tutor is literally from hell, but I finally feel like this is becoming home. So I've made it through the shell shock and, in the immortal words of Liz Lemon, "I didn't die!"

Oz has been treating me awesomely, the people here are great and my family has been amazing support. Is it weird that I haven't seen my cousins at all for most of my life and yet I feel like I know them better than some of my friends? It's a strange thing, but it helps a lot too.

Anyway, my life is getting scarily organised. I have an awesome routine for varsity, (I wrote an Ode to Public Transport, I'll post it one day.) Church is amazing, lots of great people and great hearts wanting to serve God. I'm getting involved, in the near future, with productions that will be awesome and I might actually join the South Australian Light Opera Society. Glee!

Also, my cousin and I have just started a fitness routine recommended by the Australian Defense Force. It's tough, but so great. It's a get fit in 4 weeks programme. Amazing results... I also finally got my boxes from SA! It's so good to have my stuff around me. :) My books especially. Oh yes, Ali, I found that fic that you and I wrote in Form 2, "Vendetta"... It's hysterical. We should finish it by e-mail even though it has no point and is completely devoid of actual X-Files characterisations... :P

On the other hand, I'm really missing my family and friends... I spoke to Avril on the phone and cried for about an hour afterward... :( Also, some friends and I went to the beach on Saturday night to listen to the waves and watch the stars and I missed Et so much I thought I might die... It's amazing, I felt quite confused before I left and now that I can't see him until next year, my heart is aching for him. :(

Anyway, I'll be ok. Just got to keep holding on and enjoy feeling more and more at home. Also, I'm taking joy in little things, like this awesome X-Files icon. Sigh, how I do miss Scully.

Missing you all!

We create another secret world, a place only of beauty.

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 04:09:27 GMT

I'm having an amazing day. I got up this morning and wasn't tired... (Miracle in itself.) My room's almost done and is beginning to feel like home thanks to the furniture I bought at the weekend. Soon it shall be painted and, therefore, completely mine. :)

For those of you who don't know, I'm living in my aunt and uncle's back yard cottage and practically have my own place. Awesome is. I have keys and things to get in and out and the bus station is mere minutes from the house. Also, I have access to the main house and ultimately to free food. My life ROCKS right now.

Anyway, I went in to an early (early being 9a.m. in Adelaide) Chinese lecture and we started with the Pinyin (basic spelling of Chinese sounds and pronunciations) and the first greetings. We learned all of the tones for Chinese and began with the initials and finals, basically consonant and vowels that are frequently used. It was awesome and, I have to say, Chinese is a remarkably easy language. Whatever you heard about the most difficult language in the world to learn? It's not Mandarin. There are no tenses, no real conjugation, no plural and singular words... it's awesome!

After that, I had about four hours to kill, so I slipped out of uni (there are no security measures and the university faces directly onto Adelaide's main street, so this is remarkably easy) and I walked to Rundle Mall to have lunch and read. It's a less-than-five minute walk from uni to this awesome organic restaurant. There, I watched people amble by and read the last of Atonement all complete with the soundtrack from Amelie. I know, I know.

I'm in a surprisingly poetic mood now and have several ideas bumping around in my brain which I will put to paper in a minute. I'm heading over to a History lecture now to learn about 'The Importance of China in the 14th Century' I love living in an Asian-Pacific country. :) My degree is made of awesome.

As for Atonement, WOW. What a great novel. I loved every bit of it. Even if my every picture of Cecilia is haunted by Keira Knightley. The writing is exquisite and the story compelling. McEwan writes with uncanny insight into the mind of an thirteen-year-old girl and similarly an eighteen-year-old nurse and the tormented, love-struck youth at the harrowing shores of Dunkirk. Truly amazing. Genius in fact. The ending? I'll let you read it and understand the pure brilliance of McEwan's masterpiece.

Talking of those, I can't believe I haven't posted since, but I saw Sweeney Todd! It hardly needs my addition, but what a sensational piece! It was both terrifying and tragic. It wasn't as comical as I expected, accustomed as I am to Tim Burton's taste for the macabre. Although, 'A Little Priest' and 'By the Sea' were superbly done.

In the acting department, I'm not at all surprised. We all know what legends Depp, Bonham Carter and Rickman are so successes in all three parts (despite the brevity of Alan Rickman's appearances) was expected. I only have these things to say:

1.) Daniel Day Lewis's performance in 'There Will Be Blood' must have been AMAZING to have ousted Depp for the Oscar.

2.) I cried like a baby during 'Not While I'm Around' and it made me truly question myself. I always assumed that Mrs Lovett was crazy. That scene makes me think otherwise because the sheer agony in her eyes when she realises that something has to be done about Toby could never have existed in a crazed sociopath. Perhaps my belief that she was crazy was simply a rationalisation on my part to help me accept that someone could do such things?

3.) I have never truly hated a villain before Professor Umbridge and never since. Until I saw Alan Rickman's Judge Turpin. What a complete scumbag. Superbly brought to life of course. :) (I still love AR though.)

All in all, a disturbing and amazing film. The horror was surprisingly not found in the gory murders (as disturbing as the pretty tune of Joanna being noisily interrupted by spurting 'blood'/paint was) but rather in the understanding that all people have the frightening ability to be that black inside. Really scary. Especially Todd's eyes as he closes the oven on a screaming Mrs Lovett and the pure ecstasy can be seen in his slightly-glowing stare.

Ok, enough. It's time for me to vanish!
Au revoir.

It's a strange sort of affliction, passion for the performance arts...

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 06:15:59 GMT

Sitting at Uni about to go to my first rehearsal for the Adelaide University Choral Society. SO EXCITED. It's been a whole year since I actually sang something classically arranged, well, arranged at all really... and I'm so excited to be getting back into performing. :) I have missed it.

It's a strange sort of affliction, passion for the performance arts, it's the only drug that does damage when you don't get the high... :P Except Heroine, I suppose. Heroine withdrawal can kill you. Anyway, so can not performing! Everytime I see a show on stage, I die a little inside. Especially musicals. ('The King and I' was very bad for me. No help meeting the star.) So, I'm getting involved in a theatre society. I've decided. Because I'M THE DECIDER! (Sorry, 30 Rock quote. Obviously.)

That aside, there's an audition for Yum-Yum in The Mikado and I might just take it up... Who knows, I could be on stage again. :) Yay! Also, my cousin's at Tabor (a performing arts college) and I might be able to get the inside scoop from her on all the hot auditions. My heart just jumped with excitement. You cannot know what it is to finally have this happen.

That aside, Law is VERY exciting too. The course I'm doing seems to have been written for me. I think I shall do well here. :)

P.s: Also, my journal is now displaying on Google. O_o It's quite strange... Of course you have to look up something obscure, like Angela Kilian, (sorry Angela) but it's there...

Quiet Mumblings Heard in the Distance Echo into Eternity

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 11:00:40 GMT

Hello from Adelaide Australia! Everything here is made of awesome right now... Especially the ability to safely walk the streets of the city! Had an awesome morning at varsity getting stuff done. It's going to be great. :)

Anyway, awesome is... THE X-FILES 2 TRAILER! AAAAA! *deep breath*

Here are some pics of the WonderCon function where it was released. I cannot wait for the sequel, it's going to be amazing. Gillian Anderson is looking so great at the moment... Loving having the red hair back. Never mind DD, he's not important. Scully was ALWAYS more important. :P

Squee! So good to have the team back together again! :)
Anyway, here it is: (Ok, it's a terrible view, but it's the bloody trailer!)

The X Files 2 Trailer

YES! Ok, enough. Bye!

fangirls

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 23:30:20 GMT

Ok, I don't even know where to begin. Just... gah! *squeals*

Ok, ok... I went to see 'The King and I' tonight. It was a real treat because I thought I was going to be gone before it was on stage. Anyway, it was AWESOME. I love the story (despite its being fiction and passed off as truth) and being a hopeless romantic, it was truly squee-worthy. ^_^

Also, it was brilliantly amusing. I loved the combination of wit and physical comedy. (There's an amazing 'Your head must always be lower than King's' scene that's completely silent but hilarious.) It was exquisite and the music? SUPERB. Marisa Bosman played the part of Tuptim and her voice blew me away, so gentle and controlled but with such obvious power behind it. Oh yes and Mr Jonathan Roxmouth as Lun Tha? That boy's voice should be illegal... I cried. Twice. 'We Kiss in the Shadows' made me howl. Not aloud like I did at Les Miserables, because that was too mortifyingly embarassing to happen twice. :P

Talking of music, I saw my old flute teacher! She was playing in the orchestra. I waved at her on the way out and... she didn't even recognise me! Ha ha... Not surprised. :P

Anyway, that aside. Paul Buckby was brilliant too. He really captured the essence of the character of the King and was extremely funny in the role too. I loved his hidden ignorance... (Highlighted by Anna's annoying tendancy to be consistently right. :P) It made him so lovable. Squee. Also, I am now determined to strike a pose every time I stop walking... :P

And now, you all knew it, but the winner of my true admiration and affection goes to... Angela Kilian! *everyone has a heart attack and dies of not surprise* She's so stunning! Her performance was completely amazing. Her facial emphasis and body language were a constant source of humour and her voice... Well... yeah... She sounds just like Julie Andrews and I'm not joking. She even speaks like her, it's such a fantasticly clear and honest voice and amazingly easy to listen to.

Anyway, she played the pants off Anna Leonowens (not literally, although there was much peering up her skirt thanks to the script...) and she deserves top accolades for her beautiful blend of innocent, flirtatious and angry. :) (Hysterical really. Death by rabid English teacher...) Oh, and 'Hello Young Lovers'? I'm still gaping. The mixture of tragedy and nostalgia was exquisite, not to mention the stunning music that so beautifully fit her voice. I also adored 'Shall We Dance?'. (Like I said, hopeless romantic.) Especially the 'let me put my hand around your waste and push the temperature up two degrees' squee moment. Yes, only two degrees, it is Anna and the King and any higher temperature might be considered improper. :P Of course, I expected no less of Ms Kilian... I've loved her ever since her very accurate portrayal of Maria in 'The Sound of Music' and she's played every role any female artist could dream of. (Eliza, Eva, Marilyn...)

Well, it was a superb ending to my time in South Africa. It seemed fitting... :) I'm also encouraged to chase after my passion, even if it be as a hobby. Of course, I've left the best bit for last. What better way to make an exit than by meeting the woman I've admired for three years at least?

I couldn't think of anything... so I did! I don't have photos to prove it, because I didn't want to leave a lasting "Oh my God, you're going to kill me, aren't you?" impression... :P Anyway, I stood outside the stage door and waited for five minutes until Angela appeared completely without pretense and walked up to my family and said, "Hello, are you guys the ones Adele was talking about?" *Lauren faints*

I stood grinning a little like an idiot as my dad introduced me. (Thanks dad for saving extreme embarassment...) She shook my hand and smiled telling me how lovely it was to meet me and how greatful she was for my support etc. I found my tongue and had an actual conversation about musicals and the industry and it was awesome! A bit like talking to Shakespeare about playwriting. (Ok, that's a severely unbalanced simile, but she's my South African acting hero, ok?) Then this happened:

A: "I hear you're leaving the country, where are you going?" Angela Kilian knows something about my life? *dies for the millionth time*

L: "Yes, I'm leaving for Australia tomorrow..."
A: Wow, that sounds exciting! How long are you going for?
L: Well, it's pretty permanent at the moment, I'm going there to study.
A: That's so great! What are you studying?
L: Law actually, I was thinking about drama, but I kind of went the other way on that one...
A: Good! Stick to law, seriously. (Great! The woman who's living the life I want thinks it's wiser to study law... That puts me at ease. :P)

Anyway, she signed my programme and wrote me a message:

"Dear Lauren
Good luck abroad, lovely to meet you.
All my love,
Angela."

All in all, pretty awesome for me. Although, maybe less cool to others. :P Still, an excellent way to spend the last night in SA. Here are some pics of the show (that's Angela as Anna):

P.S: Oh yes, eponine254, she doesn't actually speak like Julie Andrews, she sounds like a Cape Towner... (Although no one denies that on stage it's hard to tell the difference.) :P

Flowers and a Meme

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 20:38:41 GMT

Had a much better day today... Saw my mum for breakfast and got a lot of stuff done. Got my international driver's licence and finally sorted out the credit issues with WITS... THEY'RE MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE EVER! (Sarcasm.)

On the other hand, it was Et and my six month whatever today... he came over for dinner and brought me a dozen red roses amongst a bouquet of other flowers. He's the Flower King. :) Now, I hate the idea of materialism showing your love for one another, but every major event of our relationship has been highlighted by flowers and it's stunning... :) Things are going so well right now despite the imminent seperation. *is happy*

Also, here's the word count for the novel! No, I haven't actually written MORE yet, but here's a wordcount anyway... :P

Also, AWESOME... I was speaking to a friend at church named Adele and the conversation went like this:

A: So, you're leaving on Thursday? That's so soon!
L: Yes, but I'm very excited...
A: Well, God bless. I'm sure it's going to be amazing.
L: Thanks so muhc...
A: Hey, I heard you're going to see 'The King and I' on Wednesday?
L: Yeah, my dad wanted to take me to one last show.
A: It's superb, my eldest sister's daughter Angela is in it.
L: O_o. Angela? As in Angela KILLIAN? The STAR of 'The King and I' and possibly my favourite South African actress? THAT Angela?!
A: Yes, that's her... If you want I can try and arrange for you to meet her after the show... Sometimes she has to rest her voice, but I'm sure she'll sign your programme and have a word or two...
L: *dies*

I still cannot believe that that conversation actually happened. If I do get to meet her, I think I might actually die. She's a stunning singer and an almost exact replica of Julie Andrews. I ADORED her in 'The Sound of Music' and 'My Fair Lady' and I hear she kicks ass in 'The King and I'. Sigh. Awesome is.

Anyway, all that aside, here's a meme stolen from eponine254:

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. PostNet Girl (Ew. I hate faxing.)
2. Tutor for Hire Education. (DON'T EVER WORK FOR THESE PEOPLE.)
3. Secretary for the Church (School Holiday Work)
4. Promotions Girl (For a second... on a degrading sidewalk. *shudder*)

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Mary Poppins
2. Star Wars
3. The Wizard of Oz
4. Gladiator

Four books I would read over and over (and have):
1. The Hours (Michael Cunningham)
2. Harry Potter (JKR)
3. To the Lighthouse (Virginia Woolf)
4. The Zion Covenant Series (Bodie Theone)

Four places I have lived:
1. Maputo, Mozambique
2. Edenglen, Jo'burg
3. Dowerglen, Jo'burg
4. Kensington, Jo'burg

Four TV Shows that I watch:
1. 30 Rock
2. 24
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Private Practice

Four Places I have been:
1. China
2. France
3. Egypt
4. Israel

Four People who e-mail/message me regularly:
1. Etienne
2. Livejournal
3. Astrid
4. Steph

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Lasagne
2. Roast Lamb
3. Asparagus and Pistachio Risotto
4. Ice Cream and Strawberries

Four Places I would rather be right now:
1. New York (Ditto Hein)
2. The West End
3. Paris
4. New York (Again, because it's a pretty big wish...)

Things I am looking forward to this year -- within the year...
1. Getting to know my family better.
2. Learning Chinese. (Yes, finally!)
3. Getting deeper with God.
4. The return of 30 Rock!

(Ok, on the scale of everything else on this list, that last one is minor... But that doesn't mean I'm NOT looking forward to it.) :P

Cut and paste into your LJ and put in your own answers.

These Tears Keep on Falling Like Broken Vases Against an Angry Wall

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 22:15:54 GMT

Today was my last Sunday in South Africa. I can barely believe that the week is finally here... I cried a lot today, poor Avril thought I might flood the house. I saw friends today for the last time and it was just too much.

My farewell was great, I was sad that some guys couldn't be there, but it was great that those who made it, made it. The food was divine and the company even better. :)

Anyway, wrote another poem today. I write best when I'm emotional. :P I like it, but it needs tweaking... I'll post it soon. :)

That is all.

YES! Finally, unleashed.

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 07:44:11 GMT

You know what? I can drive... ON MY OWN. Mhm, yeah. That's me. :)

In other news: YAY! I got my driver's licnece! I don't have to do a three year course in driving in Australia! Woot!

Practically Stable in a World of Changing Tides

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 07:21:03 GMT

Well, I'm leaving in 8 days. Tomorrow I'm doing my Driver's test again. I'll be having my last church service on Sunday. To say the least? I'm feaking out!

I don't know where my emotions are. I'm happy, sad, scared, excited! (That sounded like a quote from Funny Girl...) What am I even talking about? Anyway, all my stuff is packed except for the things I'm taking in my suitcase and my bookshelves are empty. It's strange, but that's having the worst effect on me. Empty bookshelves means permanent departure...

I am really going to miss my family. Avril especially... it's amazing what God has done with our relationship and I've come to rely on her so much for advice and support. I guess I'll be sending TONS of e-mails. I cried for so long last night... but a strange mix of excited and sad tears. Weird. I've, of course, been having weird nightmares about losing my passport and other crazy things and have also been plagued by a series of terryfing ghost dreams. Doubly weird. On top of that, the tap in our bathroom suddenly started running at 2 a.m. On its own. Without cause. O_o Why? Ok, so I'm being weirdly paranoid here, but it freaked me out in the middle of the night ok?

That aside, the WGA strike is FINALLY over. Yes! There's a possibility of 10 more 30 rock episodes this season. My fan heart is happy... :)

I was thinking about it though, this strike has been terrible for shows that were just starting out. Some shows got cancelled because they didn't have the ratings to come back for a mini-season at the end of all this. Which is so unfair for shows that barely had time to air their Pilot episode. I would hate to be on of the people involved in those. Besides, it's possible we missed out on what could have been really great television. Which sucks. Well, if you care about television. :P

On a completely random tangent, I'm reading Mary Poppins which was given to me by the perfectly wonderful roseph, thanks so much my Ro-Boat... It's awesome of course and I love that Mary Poppins isn't a nice person, she's vain, rude and never wrong. Brilliant. Loving it along with The Hours once again, depending on what I feel like reading. I am still awed by the amazingness of Michael Cunningham and his ability to write the thoughts of three very complex women. Also, his descriptions are some of the best, with a mix of simple methapors and random observations. Will get to Atonement eventually, but it'll have to wait until I'm finished with my Woolf binge. :)

Talking of books, I've finally reached 100 Pages of mine after abandoning it for a little while and finally regaining the discipline to continue. Yay! it still sucks, but hey, it's not like I'm trying to win the Pullitzer. If I were, the word 'huskily' would not be in my novel. Which, I'm ashamed to say, it is...

Well, that's all for now folks. More on the Driver's tomorrow. Hopefully it's good news... :P

My heart is singing, could it be this might work?

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 12:57:30 GMT

Well, I sat down and talked to Et... It was awesome. He came over and made me breakfast, eggs, bacon, the lot. We chatted and just enjoyed each other's company. I asked him how he was doing and he said he wasn't sure what to tell me. He said it was hard to find the words, so I told him what was on my mind and after some discussion I realised that I do love him. Very much. I was just freaking out about the pressure on the relationship...

We decided that we would continue to see each other and try it long-distance, but that we would never feel obligated to continue the relationship if we felt that God had something different for us. It was scary and yet, also comforting. :)

So yeah, now I am happy and can finally get excited about my future! :)

P.s: My icon now seems amazingly inappropriate, but I like it... :P

Feeling Sickeningly Addicted, I Can't Get You Out of My Brain

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:23:30 GMT

Here are those X-Files images I was talking about. Squee for Scully and Mulder back together in a reasonable setting! :)

1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)

This Moment Keeps Rushing Closer, Like a Train on Determined Tracks

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:13:12 GMT

Wow, my dad booked my ticket today. I'm leaving on the 21st, which means I won't get to see Sweeney Todd before I leave Ali... :( For the first time today though, I realised that I'm leaving in 16 days. I didn't cry or get hysterical, but I felt my heart jump. Kind of like I'd just got a fright. It's so bizarre when something actually happens that you've been waiting so long for...

The only thing I can compare it to is being on stage. When you're going to perform, there's this rush of panic that happens just before you're going to go on. You know there's nothing you can do about it and that the moment is coming closer and closer. Much like a train when you're tied to the tracks. Only less deadly. I'm very excited now though, I know that this is right for me for the moment. The only trouble is that it's going to be like ripping out my soul to part from friends and the family that's come to mean so much to me.

Then there's Etienne. I'm so confused right now, I have NO IDEA how I feel anymore and I think it's important that I let him know about my confusion. We're sitting down to lunch tomorrow, so maybe then will be a good time to share my honest feelings. It's going to be so hard... Arg! I have no idea.

It's quite eerie actually, almost like leaving school was. Knowing that you won't be back in the next couple of months. Knowing that life will continue without you and that people will keep moving on. It's crazy really. It's also hugely exciting, knowing that I have a fresh start. Also it's an excellent opportuniy to get to know my family. People I've loved but haven't known my whole life. New friends, new church, new family. It seems so removed from a real timeline. Of course I'll always have my family and LJ, not to mention Facebook and my good old e-mail account... Hey, you should all leave e-mail addresses... that way I can contact all of you. :)

On a completely shallow and random note, new X-Files pictures from the set! Finally, a glimpse of Dana Scully... Oh how I have missed her and her snide humour. The script remains under wraps, but something about a werewolf was discovered by a set-snooper, so that seems to be the running rumour at the moment. Weird. Well, as long as we avoid aliens and government conspiracies, I'm sure this film will be better than the first. :) Oh, apparently, my photobucket account is under maintenance... Hmm, I'll post them at another time then.

Anyway, I'm now reading Notes on a Scandal. O_o is all I can say. Brilliant. Scary, but brilliant. Strangely, it gives me a desire to read Virginia Woolf again. I'm craving 'To the Lighthouse' right now... I'll read it when I'm done with the mountain of books that I'm suddenly reading. I also want to read 'Atonement' before I see the film. So, I may as well get reading...

So, my life hey?

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 20:01:31 GMT

Well, I thought it was about time I actually posted something worth posting. I'm sure you're all bored to death of icons. :P

Anyway, I'm reading 'The Constant Gardener' by John le Carre again and loving it... It's one of those books that really challenges your complacency and it searches me every time. For someone who wants to go into diplomacy, it's really amazing to be reminded that the world of politics, for all it's talk of peace and human rights, is dulled and desensitized. It's a beautiful and tragic story, esquisitely crafted with perhaps a little too much detail. (Hey, everything has faults.)

A line that really struck me was this: "Tessa was that rarest of things: a lawyer who believes in justice." It hit me right in the heart and I thought, yes. That's what I want to be. People keep telling me that I'm naive, but what good is it leaving the politics to all the 'wisened' cynics who will do nothing because they no longer care?

It just made me think. When did law and human rights stop being about people and start being about money and control? Or has it just always been that way? Yes, another idealist leaping into the jagged jaws of reality. Lovely.

The Constant Gardener's all about someone who fought though, that's what I like about it. Tessa's no fool and yet she stands for what's right. Even until it gets her killed. I want to be like that. What a fantastic thing to die for.

Anyway, aspirations aside, I'm getting crazily busy at the moment. So much to do! I don't even know what emotional state I'm in, hence the Disney escapism, and something in me wishes I could just go and be done with it!

Then I remember that that means I have to leave everyone behind and I'm confused again. Sigh. I hope this gets easier. I know it doesn't.